To wed or not to wed

1) If you feel compelled to ask, “Should I marry ________?” Don’t.

2) Being “in love” is not a good enough reason to walk down the aisle. Being “in love” is an excellent start….but it takes a lot more than love to make a marriage last a lifetime.

3) Do you and your significant other “like” each other? Are you capable of having fun just hanging out together? When the narcotic effects of infatuation and lust fade…there are just two people hanging out together until death do us part. Hopefully there is enough substance to your relationship that you can still enjoy each other’s company after the infatuation and lust fade away.

4) Do you and your partner laugh together on a regular basis? If not, consider what a lifetime without laughter feels like.

5) Always take the car for a test drive. It is impossible to predict how well a car will perform from just starting the engine in the parking lot.

6) It is important to not lose yourself in a relationship. But it is also important to remember that being in a marriage is not the same being single. A marriage can’t last if the people involved spend more energy maintaining their independence and autonomy…and less time investing in building a relationship.

7) When having a disagreement with your significant other, always remember and never forget that you are not enemies. Do not treat each other as if you are adversaries. Always remember that the two of you are on the same side…and treat each other accordingly. (Start your negotiations noting that you want the same things and are on the same side)

8) The Two Year Rule: Do not marry someone that you have not dated for at least two years….while living in the same zip-code. It is impossible to really know who someone is until after you pass the two year mark. Everyone wants to make a good impression. Most people can keep up the charade for one year…and the really good actors can keep it up for two years. How many people have you known who woke up one day after being married for a couple of years and wondered who the heck this person was that they share a bed with?

9) Avoid self-help relationship books written by single, divorced, or unmarried persons who have not been able to maintain a happy or successful long term relationship.

10) The best financial advice ever given from a $500/hour estate planning and tax attorney: “Never…ever…ever…get a divorce.”