On Layover

Growing-up in a military family in a military town the concept of a "tour of duty" was part of our daily lives.

Sometimes a parent is shipped off on a 6 month tour of duty to some undisclosed location. On other occasions, the whole family packs-up for a 1 or 2 year tour of duty to some unnamed military base far away that requires updated passports and a laundry list of immunizations prior to boarding the airplane or ship that transports the family to their final destination.

As someone who embraces the idea of reincarnation I spent a good chunk of this lifetime embracing the idea of life as a tour of duty.

I have since reconsidered this philosophy.

In the past, when I was lived my life as if it were a tour of duty, I approached life like a workaholic with a “to do list”. Each tour of duty brings with it a list of tasks that if accomplished are added to your resume and in some karmic fashion lead you to your next lifetime with yet another list of things needed to be accomplished and so on….

This approach to life assumes that we have control over our lives. Quite the contrary, the primary thing I learned in this lifetime is that we are not in control of anything.

In the past, I was arrogant enough to buy-in to the illusion that I had total control over my life…until the universe flicked its fickle finger of fate and dumped me on my ass a few times.

Eventually I figured out that I was in control of nothing. I embraced a new concept called “humility”…and started to get out of my own way.

I began to realize that the only thing in this life that matters are our choices…particularly how we choose to respond to the unexpected plot twists life presents us with on a regular basis.

With this in mind, I started to think of life as being on a “layover” rather than a “tour of duty”.

When we fly across the country, it is not uncommon to find ourselves on a long layover in Chicago or Dallas. When on layover, we don’t get involved in the local politics or get caught up in the local dramas…we just use the time to get our ducks in a row, keep our nose clean, and move on.

Some people might call this approach to life “apathetic”. Well, maybe it is. I prefer to think of it as a technique to harness life rather than attempting to control it…or exploring a new way to walk through the minefield of life while avoiding stepping on an explosive device.

Growing up on the ocean I spent a lot of time at the beach. Anyone who has spent any time in the surf learns pretty quickly that you cannot control the ocean. If you try to stand your ground and fight the waves…you will swiftly be dumped on your butt with a nose full of saltwater and a bathing suit full of sand.

However, if instead you harness the power of the ocean waves, you can do some amazing things like body surf, boogie board, or carve the waves on a short board.

Once you learn to let go of your pride and ego…and learn to get out of your own way… it becomes possible to harness your life and do some pretty amazing things.

Life isn’t a tour of duty…it is simply a layover.